Parts of Me

I think I am just scared
Scared to be happy
Scared to accept so much about me
Scared to be seen for me
Been fucked with too many times
Had my heart broken too many times
Picked up the pieces
Rebuilt myself
Changed on every build

A different person I have become
One that fears love
That tries to run from it every time it knocks on the door.
Don’t understand what kind of game life is trying to play
Every time it sends a small ray of hope
Only to cover it with absolute darkness
Dimming my light
No matter how strongly I try to shine

I don’t even recognise myself
The girl who believed in fairy tales
Now doesn’t expect happy endings
I look in the mirror and see so many parts of me missing
Parts I am afraid will not return to me
Parts I wish I could regain
Parts that had kept me happy
These are the parts that made me a dreamer
A believer
A lover
Something I long to be
But the fears of my past do not let go of me
They hold me back
Reminding me of the pain
Making me feel lost
With no hope
Nothing to gain